The spiritual journey is one of both loneliness and solitude. We have to dwell in this place of silence to find God, whether that be in prayer, taking a walk or just taking a break.
Loneliness is about fear. Fear that we are alone, that no one cares, that no one will ease our pain. But we can find God in our loneliness. His grace and love meets us there. He gives us strength, power, and confidence when we have none, and turn our will over to him.
Solitude is a sense of peace we feel when we know who we are in God and we know we are being held and acting in his will. Paradoxically, our nothingness becomes his everything, and we come to know ourselves as his Beloved.
I reflected on these ideas the past two days after reading about Jared Loughner, the accused shooter in Tuscon, Arizona. Jared saw himself as a nihlist, someone who believed that life had no purpose. The world had no meaning for him. His life had no meaning. Yet everyday he woke up and found himself to be alive. He must have felt his life to be a daily curse. If I am given the gift of life each day, but I am convinced that my life has no meaning, then the logical conclusion, as Loughner seemed to have made, was that we should want to die.
As an expert marksman, Loughner had the skill and tools to destroy life. And so he did.
This is the paradox of the spiritual life. God wants to meet us in our loneliness and despair, but we have to invite him in to help us. Loughner found rightly that the external world could not satisfy him, and it seems he was unhappy with this answer. He was struggling for more, but the devil turned his heart toward destruction and physical violence instead of surrender.
Fr. Sertillanges, a Dominican preacher, says, "Suffering is an extreme remedy which either cures the evil or makes it worse, which strengthens or kills." He continues, saying, "Unhappy is he who carries the cross of Jesus but who is not with Jesus."
I pray for Loughner and for men and women like him who are living a life of suffering and despair. I pray that they listen and surrender their hearts to a God who wants to hold them in their loneliness, ease their pain, and invite them into the peace of solitude.
