The Truth Shall Set You Free

I had the opportunity to spend this weekend with 10 homeless men at a retreat center in Indiana. Really powerful stuff. The retreat provides an arena for men to witness to their brokenness in a safe environment and work toward healing by conversing openly with peers and with God. http://www.ignatianspiritualityproject.org

On these retreats I've learned that the powerful thing about witnessing to the truth is - - the truth cuts across differences in age, race, and faith and helps all who are sharing make a deeper connection. The more brave we are in our brokenness and naming what's real - - the closer we come to real intimacy with others and to recieving God's love. Hiding from this truth or denying it, insulates us from recieving this love, and loving ourselves.

But witnessing to the truth and our brokenness is a hard, somewhat unnatural thing for men. We aren't used to baring our souls to other men (unless maybe they are a priest or someone on their death bed.)

Men are brought up to be strong and fearless. We're not supposed to cry or admit our weaknesses. So being vulnerable is something we have to learn how to do and do well. If you're looking for vulnerable men, the best place to find them is usually on the Lifetime Network or on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. :)

"The truth shall make you free," is what Jesus says in John 8:32. He continues, "Everyone who lives in sin is the slave of sin." I'll have to admit that I've learned and am learning this first hand.

In all of the major healing stories we hear in the bible, Jesus asks the recipient, whether that be Bartemeus, the woman at the well, or the woman with the hemmorage to name and claim their sinfulness or brokenness. Only by coming to Jesus and admitting our sinfulness and asking for forgiveness can we be healed. Otherwise our sin becomes buried in our hearts where it churns, festers, and scars.

I need to remind myself to regularly come to Jesus in truth to be healed and recieve his loving mercy. He is the truth and the life. Amen.

Reflections on Suffering, Part 2

I heard a radio preacher talking recently about Hebrews 12 and 2 Corinthians 12 and it resonated with some of my own feelings of desolation lately. His comment, "Progress without pain is not possible," struck me. But it's no fun dying to stuff. It's not something you look forward to. People don't usually go around inviting pain and death into their lives. We usually try to avoid it at all costs.

So what are we supposed to do with pain? A friend of mine once said to me, "Pain is gonna mess up your life again." And that's what it does. It messes up the status quo. It messes up what we had planned. It messes things up when things seem to be going okay. I guess it's God's way of reminding us we're not in charge of what's going on.

I think of the pain of women in childbirth, and the pain of a child getting new teeth. This kind of pain is always off-set by a joyful outcome we mortals can easily make out. Something wonderful is happening. Other stuff in life is not so transparent or easy to swallow. We don't get to see the WHY until years later.

The bottom line is that we don't have God's perspective on what our suffering means and how God is going to use it for his glory. Hmph. And that's what's so difficult about it. It's not just the suffering, but the question of, "Why the heck is this happening to me Lord?" As Viktor Frankl talks about is his book, Man's Search for Meaning, in which he relays his experience of surviving the Nazi death camps,"He who knows the why" for his existence, will be able to bear almost any "how."

When you think about it, Christ did courageously go through the Agony in the Garden, false accusations by the Pharisees and Scribes, torture at the hand of the Roman soldiers, and the Crucifixon at Cavalry, dying for our sins - - but he knew WHAT he was being asked to do and WHY. He knew that he was going to die and rise again. But we, on the other hand, don't know how God wants to use our suffering. That's the hard part about our faith. We have to trust that he is going to breathe new life into us through the many deaths in our lives. Trusting.

It's a hard thing to rationalize and trust sometimes. It's easier to doubt than trust.

In John 15, Jesus says, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. He prunes away every barren branch, but the fruitful ones he trims clean to increase their yield . . . I am the vine, you are the branches. He who lives in me and I in him, will produce abundantly."

This is so easy to see and digest at the 30,000 foot level, but when you're in the middle of it, what are you supposed to think? Jesus, you just trimmed clean my job, you just trimmed clean my girlfriend, and you just trimmed clean my dad's health. This must be what Job felt like.

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul says that the Lord told him, after he asked three times for the thorn in his flesh to be removed, "My grace is enough for you, for in my weakness power reaches perfection." What I see is pain and weakness. I want to see the WHY. I want to see how he is using this to his perfection. I want to see what is pleasing to him.

Who Do You Say I Am?

In Matthew 16, Jesus asks his disciples the question, "Who do you say I am?" He then praises the apostle Peter when he responds by saying, "You are the Messiah, the Son, of the Living God."

But just when Peter thinks he has been affirmed by Jesus as being an "A" student and "getting" who Jesus truely is, Jesus rebukes him when Peter denys or can't conceive of the fact that Jesus will need to die at the hands of the Scribes and Pharisees. "Get out of my sight you satan! You're trying to make me trip and fall. You are not judging by God's standards but by man's."

As I get older, I realize that this question of, "Who do you say I am?" is a question we need to answer every single day of our lives to affirm our faith as Christians and affirm the choices we make in life. You've got a great job - - who do you say I am? You're lonely - - who do you say I am? You're at the end of your rope - - who do you say I am? You're just not seeing God at work in your life - - who do you say I am now?

As I read Matthew 16 and 17, I see the way God pursues us to show us who he is, and it's not always who we think he is, and he's not always there in the way we want him to be.

After his initial conversation with Peter, Jesus takes Peter, James and John up to the mountaintop to pray. What they are about to see, the Transfiguration, further defines "who I am." They see Jesus transfigured with Elijah and Moses and they are amazed and blinded by the dazzling white of Christ's garment. Peter's initial reaction is, 'Gee, maybe we should build a couple of tents for Elijah, Moses, and Jesus and savor this moment for a while.'

In this brief glimpse, however, God is trying to show the apostles that Jesus is as great as the prophets who came before him. Something no one else will ever see. But, still, Peter, James, and John don't fully get it. "Who do you say I am?"

Enter the booming voice of God from the clouds. "This is my beloved Son on whom my favor rests. Listen to him."

Wow.Can you ask for a clearer explanation of who Jesus is at that point? God practically hits them over the head with it. This is the kind of clarity and revelation we all ask for in our prayers.

Okay, so now Peter, James, and John get it. He's the Son of God. No question about it. He's the Messiah, the Son of the Living God.

But what does that mean? Is he going to conquer the Roman army and restore Israel to power? That's the picture they all have in mind at this point. Jesus becomes the king and we get to sit at his right and left on the throne and rule all of Israel with him. What a sweet deal. How lucky we are to be chosen as his disciples? Won't our mothers be proud?

But then reality sets in. And it's not a reality they're expecting. Jesus says in Matthew 17:22, "The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men who will put him to death, and he will be raised up on the third day." At these words they were overwhelmed with grief."

They are given the first hint that story is not going to turn out the way they're expecting. "Who do you say I am?" I'm who you think I am and more. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last.

I guess what I'm learning from all of this is that Jesus is always challenging us to show us who he is in our lives - - and more. Just when we have him figured out (like the apostles at the Transfiguration) he shows us that he is so much more.

Jesus loves us so much that he doesn't want to be minimalized. He wants to draw us deeper and deeper, closer and closer, and tighter and tighter into his embrace, toward his mercy, his forgiveness, and his grace.

His love is that big. His love is that real, and it's more than we can possibly imagine.

"Who do you say I am?"

Reflections on Discipline

"Endure your trials as the discipline of God who deals with you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?" "If we respected our earthly fathers who corrected us, should we not all the more submit to the Father of spirits and live? They disciplined us as seemed right to them, to prepare us for the short span of mortal life; but God does so for our true profit, that we may share his holiness. At the time it is administered, all discipline seems a cause for grief and not for joy, but later it brings forth the fruit of peace and justice to those who are trained in its school." (Hebrews 12)

Our parents used to discipline us kids and say that they were "only doing it for our own good" and that some day they would thank us for it. Of course we didn't understand what they meant at the time and argued and cried at their apparent cruelty.

And that's where we find ourselves today as adults trying to grapple with the life our Father in heaven has given us. At this point we know well that "life is not fair," we just wish it was more fair than it is.

I think it's harder for us adults to accept discipline from God (or the concept of it) because we have the power and freedom to change or sustain many things in our lives, from where we live, to how we live, to how we spend our money, and how we define happiness. The challenge is to truely surrender to God's will in our lives and accept that the pain, frustration, loneliness, or desolation we may be feeling is a loving gift from God - - his gift of discipline. When we are able to look in the mirror and face our true selves we know we are week and can't do it alone. We need him to sustain us.

So like little children we eventually come back around and realize how much our Father loves us. His discipline is given not out of cruelty or hatred, but out of love.

If you look at all of the leading characters in the Bible, they all experienced this kind of tough love from God - - from Adam and Eve to Job, Moses, and Issac - - right down the line to the Son of God, Jesus himself. What more poignant form of surrender is there than to say, "Father, if it is your will, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done (Luke 22:42)?"

In the world we live in today, this kind of obedience and discipline is not often rewarded, however. We can feel like we are missing out on something if we don't stay out late with friends or have one more drink, etc. to go along with the group and be accepted by our peers. Those are the tough choices we have to make. Loving God is about tough love whether we like it our not. But our faith gives us hope in eternal life. To paraphrase Paul, my current sufferings are nothing compared to the glory that is to come.

"Do not grow despondent or abandon the struggle." "Let us lay aside every encumbrance of sin which clings to us and persevere in running the race which lies ahead; let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, who inspires and perfects our faith."

Reflections on God and Suffering

Chapter One

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote, "God is not a hypothesis derived from logical assumptions, but an immediate insight, self-evident as light. He is not something to be sought in the darkness with the light of reason. He is the light."

I'm struck by this quote because it is as true for the God of Issac, Abraham, and Jacob as it is for the Son of Man, Jesus, for Christians. But for atheists, this light is not apparent. They see the world through a lens defined only by the forces of nature and their own free will, not by the grace of a loving God.

Heschel contines, "More decisive than the origin of the Bible in God, is the presence of God in the Bible." I think this sentence speaks volumes about how the Spirit of God moves in the reading of scripture. Whether or not you understand what you're readig, the Spirit of God is still there.

This is similar to what St. Ignatius Loyola experienced while reading the Bible as an injured soldier convalescing from a war injury. Lying there is his hospital bed, he noticed how light his heart became after reading scripture as compared to the stories of battle conquests he had formerly revered. He noticed the power the words had on him eventhough he was not a practicing Christian. Inherent to the words was the Spirit living within them. The experience changed his life and led to his development of the Spiritual Exercises.

Chapter Two

Gretchen Jackson says, "Grief is the pain we all pay for love." By it's very nature love includes suffering. To truely love someone or something is to give a part of yourself, or to 'give a piece of your heart' as Janis Joplin would say. However painful, we all long for that connection: to be known and understood in both our joy and our suffering. It's the intimate connection we crave. It's what makes us fully human.